Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Bonfire Principle

Evaluation time with the judge today. Instead of touching on things I do well and things I need to work on, our meeting took the form of insightful advice from an experienced practitioner. There was almost a paternal tone to our meeting, especially when he shared with me the bonfire principle, which he first learned as a Marine in training, and later understood after experience as a platoon commander, aid to a prominent senator, counsel to the national security council, and special advisor to the president on national security issues. During a live-fire training exercise in the winter, his training group were freezing while they searched for and attacked various targets. They were approached by a major who asked them why they didn't build a fire to keep warm. The trainees didn't know, they just assumed they couldn't during the training exercise. The major patronizingly asked whether the targets were real. The trainees of course said "no." When the light came on in their minds regarding the major's advice, they took it and built a fire to stay warm. The judge explained that while working in the White House, people's lives depended on the legal advice he offered, and the issues arose nearly around the clock. This meant that he was never able to spend time with his family. He missed birthdays, holidays, and other celebrations--everything. When he became a judge, things changed. There were deadlines, but they weren't a matter of life and death at the appellate level most of the time. So, he took a great deal of time to be with his family. He attends everything, even to the point of coaching his kids' teams and sitting on various committees for their schools and community. In his words, he was no longer at war, so he could build his bonfire and get comfortable. Then he explained that my experience here, though valuable, wasn't real-life. At the firm, partners will drive us much harder and be much more strict. (I always made my deadlines anyway, in case you're wondering). He told me that he is aware of the value I place in my family and thinks that it is right, but that I need to balance that with proving that I am fully invested in the firm next year. I should not be the first to leave, nor be the one continually asking for time off. I need to make a few sacrifices at first, until I've gained greater credibility and report. He said that when I am partner, I should set an example of how to make my family the priority. From what I've seen with my firm, I don't think it will be a big problem. One reason I selected the firm is their emphasis on family. Either way, my wife and I decided to treat the first few years at the law firm as a residency, because that is really what it is in the legal profession. Anyway, I was grateful he took the time to provide such thoughtful counsel. He is not only a good judge, but also a good role model

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