The Bitter and The Sweet

Bitter: The first bitter is family dinner. Whoever did the study finding that the intellectual development of children is most closely correlated with family dinner must have studied only families with children over the age of four. The way our family dinner went tonight, I can hardly see how it could help their development. It is an intense battle between adult and child to eat what they are given while trying to keep in mind that we don't want to be so strict that they hate dinner and us. Despite trying to keep that delicate balance, we usually use every tactic in the book, including those the book tells us not to use, in order to get them to eat. By the end of dinner, we've threatened everything short of the death penalty, but to no avail. Tonight, the kids missed out on our planned ice cream for family night, as well as all but one book before bed. We did (we meaning my wife) come up with a brilliant plan to keep a jar at the dinner table and fill it with one bean for every manner they use at the dinner table. As a bonus, we add two beans for each child who finishes dinner. We'll see if it works. The jar idea was related to our family night lesson, which was, you guessed it, all about manners.

Sweet: Our four-year old son said the family prayer before bed last night. Twice he said, "I forgot something," and we folded our arms again and listened. It was the second amendment to his prayer that really caught my attention: "And please bless Daddy that he can practice drawing his cobras and rattlesnakes." After the prayer was finished, he politely reminded me what he had just prayed for. Who knows what the true motivation was for adding that to his prayer. On the one hand, he knows I need the practice. The last one I drew for his was so bad he laughed at it. On the other hand, I can hardly think of a better way for a child to get his parents to do something than to include it in a prayer. So, before he went to bed I drew a cobra, and it is now hanging in his room. Of course, for his prayer to really be answered I need to keep practicing.