Are You Smarter Than a One-Year Old

At first I wanted to write about my struggles with changing our baby girl. She has begun to assert her displeasure much more aggressively, most often when we want her to lie on her back for a diaper change or to hold still to change her clothes. It's funny that in another year she will be like her sister and brother and want to change into new outfits throughout the day, but I guess she is just unhappy that she cannot do it on her own terms like them. But, I realized that I didn't really learn anything from trying to fight her in order to change her except the fact that I forget how little she is and tend to tell her in my mind, "Don't you understand how difficult your life will be if you don't let me change your diaper?" Perhaps I am not smarter than a one-year old if I have to argue with her in my head.

But, I'm not going to write about all of that. Rather, I'm going to write about how a little history lesson taught me something I might need to improve as a father. On the train home I read about how Christian pioneers settled in the Salt Lake Valley and had to learn how to deal with small groups of depraved Indians who were cast out of their own tribes and incessantly stealing from the colonists. At first, several of the pioneers tried to win them over by trying to fit in with them, meaning they stopped washing their faces for several days, etc. But doing so only made the Indians take greater advantage of the pioneers. The leader of the pioneers then told the colonists that the only way to improve life with the Indians was to stand on higher ground. True, it would make them uncomfortable with the colonists for a time, but it would lead to greater respect and a greater ability to improve the Indians' standard of life. I'm not saying that I compromise my values or no longer take showers, but I think fathers tend to be the "toy" parent. I quickly learned that toys don't get a lot of respect--we have a whole corner of the house full of disregarded toys (I'm picturing my face on one of the stuffed animals there). While I have strong desires to play and bend over backwards for the kids during our limited time together each day, they need more than a friend in their father. I facetiously say I need to be smarter than my one-year old, or four-year old or two-year old, but what I really mean is that I recognize that the kids need me to be an adult at times too.