A Law Unto Himself

My day off didn't start so well, because my son and I got into another battle of the prides.  He was getting impatient and angry at my wife and his little sister when he was waiting for breakfast, so I asked him to take a time out.  He, as always, refused to do so.  Even when I picked him up and put him on his bed in his room, he immediately attempted to get up and walk out.  I'd had it.  I sat him back down and gave him a piece of my mind.  I do not understand why our son thinks he is above the rules, above his parents, a law unto himself sometimes.  Once we both got our frustration out, he agreed to take a time-out to calm down before returning to the breakfast table.  I gave myself a time-out too.  The rest of the day went smoothly.  In fact, we had a lot of fun building forts and playing together.  We decided to round out the night with a family movie night, where we snuggle up on the couch with blankets and pillows and watch a movie.  Before starting the movie, I made it clear that it would be late when the movie ended, so it would replace books tonight.  But the second the movie ended our son asked for a book.  No "thank you."  The combination of the effort we put into having nights like this and the fact that we've stressed how important it is to keep commitments, made me almost refuse to ever have movie night again.  I wouldn't even entertain the thought of a book tonight.  This enraged our son again.  But at the same time, he didn't give up hope.  He eagerly got ready for bed then asked his mother for a book.  Of course, she responded, "You need to ask Daddy."  So we had a talk about how hard we work to get ready for movie night and how hard we work after movie night just so we can have a fun activity together.  I then told him that we're only asking that he go straight to bed.  He didn't buy it.  I had to get my point across.  I said, "Fine.  Do you want to clean the kitchen and the living room tonight?"  To my surprise, he said, "Let's go!"  I wasn't sure how to do this, but I didn't want to go too easy on him.  I wanted him to really experience how tired we get cleaning up at night.  He picked up the toys and swept the floors.  Then he scrubbed almost all of the dishes and handed them to me to put in the dish washer.  He did a great job too.  I stopped him a little short, because he more than earned that book.  We read the book and he went to bed happy as a clam.  From my experiences with my son today, I've learned a few lessons:

• I let myself get offended too easily by my children's choice to disobey or ignore their parents.  I need to be careful not to teach them to get easily offended.  As my wife says, we need to teach them that we are capable of being happy regardless of what others do.
• If I threaten something, I need to follow through with it.  It made cleaning the living room and kitchen take 45 minutes longer tonight, but the lessons my son and I learned from it were worth the price.
• Four-year olds are capable of rising to challenges.  In this case, my son stayed up late and did a good job cleaning the dishes, giving his father a slice of humble pie in the process.  Even though he was exhausted, he went to bed glowing with pride knowing that he really earned that extra book.  I think he also knew that he made me very proud.