Courage

Our son has been more mouthy than usual on this vacation, probably because he is with other kids and they  get pretty worked up when they play together.  We asked him about it tonight, and he knew it was wrong but said, "But I just want to be like other kids."  He's four, so I don't think he said that out of a deep sense of insecurity; rather, it was probably that other kids seem to have more fun than we apparently let him have at home.  Either way, I cannot stop thinking about how to help him feel confident enough in himself that he will do the right thing regardless of what other kids do.  Lately, he has also been excited about warriors, knights, superheroes, firemen, policemen, etc.  He thinks they are brave and courageous.  He's even asked what courage means.  We've tried to take advantage of his questions about these heroes to explain that courage means doing what is right even when its hard and you are alone in doing it.  He displays courage often, and we also try to point that out whenever we see it.  At some point, however, we know that he will really need to choose for himself, and he can only do that when he really feels it is right.

Since starting this post, I realized that my son shows courage by simply loving other kids for who they are and withholding judgment, something he did not learn from his father.  I tried to follow his lead tonight by inviting one of the more rowdy kids to join us for bedtime stories.  The more I tried to treat him with love, the more I loved about him.  To modify my earlier definition of courage, it means to do what is right but also to withhold improper judgment.  I guess I have some work to do too.