When They Know . . .

What do you do when your son gets over-excited while your playing with him and whips a piece of clothing at your head? Well, my typical response to what I consider an innocent mistake is a three-step process: (1) talk about it, (2) hope he feels bad and apologizes, and (3) quickly forgive and move on. But when I put my hand on his arm, he backed away and began to cry. He curled up to his mother and said to her, "I don't want daddy to talk to me right now." My first reaction was, "I'm a terrible father! My son is scared of me." But, my wife helped me realize that wasn't true. He knew that he made a big mistake and already felt horrible. What he really needed was to know that I still trust him and love him. That would motivate him better than a lecture. (Boy, did that take the wind out of my sails. My lectures are brilliant.) So, after he calmed down and apologized, I decided that skipping to the last step was sufficient--though I added a big hug in there too.