I'm Being Watched

As we sat watching "Robin Hood" (the Disney version) for movie night, I briefly caught my wife's glance. Her eyes directed me down to my son's legs, which were crossed exactly like mine. After the kids were in bed, my wife told me that he pays very close attention to what I do and think. When she asked him about his favorite part of the movie, he told her about a silly part. My wife reminded me that that is also the part where he asked me why I was laughing. When my wife told me all of this, I was gripped with a little bit of panic and guilt. Strange thoughts started rushing through my mind like, "I need to play more sports," "I need to read more books," "I need to fix more things around the house," etc. My wife has always thought that I am a lot like my dad, and she thinks her brothers are either exactly like her dad or exactly the opposite. To be honest, I worry. I know my faults all to well, and I'm especially sensitive of my know-it-all attitude. Whether my son turns out to be exactly like me or exactly the opposite of me, neither is a good option. I keep thinking, "once we get into a house with a yard next year and settled into our community then I will start doing all of these things." But that's probably not true if I can't do them now. One thing I have improved on quite a bit is my reaction to "honey-do's." Believe it or not, a year or so ago I used to groan, roll my eyes, or make other pathetic visible or audible reactions to indicate to my wife that I was not a fan. I felt justified in doing this because I have always been very helpful at home, but I enjoyed just doing it because I wanted to. When it finally hit me what a horrible example I was setting, I quickly converted to "sure, Dear!" I don't think my example is scarring my son. After all, he loves learning; he's very helpful around the house; he's very thoughtful and polite; he's very honest; etc. I'm not trying to take credit. I know he came to us with many of those qualities already a part of him. I'm just relieved I haven't ruined his natural goodness. In fact, just after my wife directed my attention to the way he was sitting during the movie, she whispered, "you two are so much alike." I replied, "I take that as a compliment to be like him." My goal is that he can one day say the same about me.