Working Late

Today was an almost 12-hour day at work. Although the girls woke up early and I was able to see them today, my son, who appreciates sleep as much as we wish our daughters would, was sleeping when I left and sleeping when I came back home. During the day our son put together two firetruck jigsaw puzzles all by himself and told my wife, "Daddy is going to be so surprised!" I was, but I didn't get to show him or tell him. I realize that at this point I don't have to work this late with great frequency and that missing this moment with my son isn't that big of a deal right now, but that frequency will likely increase and these opportunities will likely decrease when I move to the firm next year. I worked for two years at a law firm prior to law school, then again each summer during law school. One trend I've noticed among lawyers is that they get into the habit of working late, sleeping in the next morning, and coming in late. Is there much an associate can do when that is their partner's habit? On the other hand, my judge is always at work very early in the morning and is able to leave early and spend a great deal of time with his family. I hope that that is the habit I develop while working with him and continue to maintain at the firm so that missing these moments is still the exception rather than the rule.

Charlie Brown's Disease

We've been living in a dream world until now. Once children reach a certain age their ears tend to become infected with a common disease that lasts until they have children of their own. I think it's called Charlie Brown's disease, because all they can hear when adults speak is "wah wah wah wah." We took every precaution we could, and our son was able to keep it somewhat at bay until he turned four. Perhaps a part of it is that he has a bad cold, but no matter how many times my wife and I asked him to cover his cough, our request went unacknowledged.  Our daughter, on the other hand, was more susceptible to it. She succumbed to the disease at age two. We also have a nine-month old, and prospects aren't looking up.

To our children's credit, they spend seven hours in the car driving home from Thanksgiving vacation. They also had to deal with tired, inattentive parents once we got home. They are all sick. Finally, we are all dealing with the end of vacation blues and hanging on to the fun memories of the past week with our family and sweets.

The Cycle of Sickness

Our son is pretty sick, so we're postponing our trip back back to DC from visiting family at Thanksgiving.  On the one hand that gives us more time with our family.  On the other hand, that also means another day of missing work due to illness. I'm beginning to wonder if life will ever be normal again.  I think that at least one person in our family has been sick since at least 2006 when we first let people touch our newborn son.  Since then, it has been transfered to my wife and me, then back to him.  As more kids came, the cycle became a little longer--there are now two more kids for the sickness to travel through.  Most recently, it was transfered back to him from his baby sister.  Medicine does not break the cycle.  One possible solution is to have more kids so that it takes longer for the sickness to get back to me.  Just kidding.  The cycle doesn't really go in order.  It is as unpredictable as a $.25 rubber ball that has been hurled against a random wall in a pitch black room.  As my older brother and I learned as boys, it is uncertain where it will ricochet next, but it is certain to hit you at some point.  Moreover, the end of one person's illness typically overlaps with the beginning of the next person's illness, meaning that even when I am well there are kids needing 24-hour attention and sometimes I have to take the night shift.  I'm currently in the market for other solutions.

Vacation Victory

One of the challenges of vacation is coordinating efforts between two full-time parents.  You'd think it's easier with two parents home all day.  If so, you would be wrong.  The minute one parent sees the other he or she immediately thinks, "Freedom!"  Obviously, both parents can't be free of responsibility at the same time, nor can one parent shoulder all of the burden.  It is neither fair for the mom to have the dad take his turn as the stay-at-home parent nor for the dad to expect to be uninvolved for eight hours as if it were a regular work day.  Figuring this out took up the first day of our vacation.  Once we did, we felt that each day was victorious.  We had a game plan that allowed us to enjoy our extended family, our kids, and each other each day.  At the end of each day, we felt we'd achieved an important victory.  Miraculously, our vacation on the road was relatively stress free and a lot of fun.

Courage

Our son has been more mouthy than usual on this vacation, probably because he is with other kids and they  get pretty worked up when they play together.  We asked him about it tonight, and he knew it was wrong but said, "But I just want to be like other kids."  He's four, so I don't think he said that out of a deep sense of insecurity; rather, it was probably that other kids seem to have more fun than we apparently let him have at home.  Either way, I cannot stop thinking about how to help him feel confident enough in himself that he will do the right thing regardless of what other kids do.  Lately, he has also been excited about warriors, knights, superheroes, firemen, policemen, etc.  He thinks they are brave and courageous.  He's even asked what courage means.  We've tried to take advantage of his questions about these heroes to explain that courage means doing what is right even when its hard and you are alone in doing it.  He displays courage often, and we also try to point that out whenever we see it.  At some point, however, we know that he will really need to choose for himself, and he can only do that when he really feels it is right.

Since starting this post, I realized that my son shows courage by simply loving other kids for who they are and withholding judgment, something he did not learn from his father.  I tried to follow his lead tonight by inviting one of the more rowdy kids to join us for bedtime stories.  The more I tried to treat him with love, the more I loved about him.  To modify my earlier definition of courage, it means to do what is right but also to withhold improper judgment.  I guess I have some work to do too.

Thankful for Dishes

Our Thanksgiving traditions are not unlike those found in many other homes.  We go around the table and say what we are thankful for.  It is a wonderful tradition; however, I feel a little guilty about what went through my head as my turn was coming up.  You see, I can't cook, so I played with the kids while my wife, mother, and sisters made our Thanksgiving dinner.  So, when everyone was talking about what they were grateful for, I was thinking about how tired I was.  I was tempted to say, "I am thankful that I get to do dishes after dinner because I need a break."  But I said something more appropriate instead--I am thankful for my angel wife.  Not only is she my best friend, but she is also much stronger than I am.  It is a mystery to me how she can care for three kids every day, keep our home, and, hardest of all, take care of me.  And for the record, I am extremely grateful for my kids.  Part of the reason for this blog is to help me evaluate and improve myself as a corporate dad so that I can be the kind of dad my kids deserve and need.

Playing With Toy Guns

I've always wondered what I would do when my son began to want to play with toy guns.  We've never had toy guns, but we knew he would eventually be introduced to them through some friend or relative.  The truth is toy guns was always fun for me growing up, but I've also seen other kid take it too far.  After all, kids are now playing realistic and violent video games and grow up enjoying violence.  So, when his cousin introduced him to playing guns today, I was presented with three options: (1) tell him "no guns" while his cousin played on, (2) let him just play and learn his cousin's rules, or (3) teach him my rules by playing with them.  Option 3 is the best method.  It is the only kind of lecture I know that always sinks in.

Nasal Catheters

Since the beginning of flu season, noses have not stopped running in our house. After flying through boxes of tissues, waking up with babies who can't suck their thumbs and breath at the same time, and scraping plaster off of morning faces, I've come to the conclusion that someone needs to manufacture nasal catheters for home use.

Time-Out for Daddy

Perhaps one of the most important things I've ever done as a father was to put myself in time-out. As our bedtime routine was coming to an end, so was my patience. Apart from what I posted about a baby screaming all night long, the second most frustrating thing in the world is repeating my children's names without any response despite the fact they are mere feet away from me. But putting myself in time-out really got their attention. I stepped back to a corner of the room, folded my arms, looked up to the ceiling, let out a huge "I can't believe I'm doing this" sigh, and counted to ten. The kids were mesmerized and their faces reflected a combination of "this is funny" and "I can't believe my eyes." Seeing their faces was so funny to me that I started laughing before I got to ten. I came back to the kids, gave them hugs, and said, "Wow! It really does work. I feel better already."

Talking It Up

One way to get our son to get ready for church is to remind him that the Primary would sing a special song to him and give him a treat. The plan came at a cost, because right before Primary he refused to go.  He no longer wanted them to sing to him.  But we eventually persuaded him to go.  Our talking up the special Primary birthday treatment stirred up so much anticipation that when the Primary began to sing our son began to scream and my wife had to take him out into the hallway.   Interestingly, he gave a talk in church a few weeks ago, really just a line as part of a Primary program.  He worked so hard to memorize it and delivered it well.  I was somewhat surprised how confident he was, knowing that he usually gets embarrassed.  I think the reason is that we talked to him about it matter-of-factly and didn't make a big deal of it.  I think because we didn't talk it up so much, he didn't get too nervous or anxious about it.  I think we're coming to realize that the expectations of a child are very fragile things. In our case, it seems to foster confidence in our son to treat big deals as small and small ones as big.

As Deep As A Stack of Pancakes

This morning I came downstairs to see that my wife had made pancakes. Somehow, while still sick and sleep-deprived, she managed to wake up early with the kids, feed them, and let me sleep in. But there was still a stack of pancakes for me. No sooner had I sat down to eat, then my little girl came up to me, looked at me with her big brown eyes, held out her arms, and said, "Daddy Daddy." My wife clued me in that my little girl wanted to sit on my lap while I ate. I looked at my little girl and said, "I'm sorry sweetie. I can't eat and hold you at the same time." Then tears welled up in her eyes, and she began to cry. I couldn't resist; I gave in. She sat sweetly on my lap as I ate pancake after pancake until there were only two left.  As soon as I started on the next pancake, quick as a flash she snatched the last one, ate it, and hopped off of my lap. It finally dawned on me that I had been charmed by a master con artist. She loves me, I know, but apparently her love for me is only as deep as a stack of pancakes sometimes. At least she took my dishes back to the sink for me.

Topping the Frustration Chart is . . .

The spell of our little baby girl's charm was broken last night as I went from a concerned parent trying to help my sick little girl fall asleep at night to a deeply frustrated parent ready to set the screaming baby down, pop in some ear plugs, and try to get some sleep during the early morning hours. Thankfully, my wife (who was also sick) took over early in the morning and our baby girl finally ran out of screams. I've experienced many frustrating things in my life, but nothing comes close to staying up with a baby who will not stop screaming and crying.

By the way, we found out she has an sinus infection and were able to get her some medicine. Right now, she is sleeping pretty soundly. Hopefully, we won't hear from her again until noon tomorrow.

Don't Try Too Hard

Perhaps it's my law degree, or perhaps it's my personality, but I'm very cautious about what I say, almost to the point of being insecure. At home, that often translates into trying too hard to not to say things that would hurt my kids' feelings or trying too hard to compliment them. This complex is compounded by the fact that I feel a little guilty that I only see them a few hours each night. Interestingly, because they are treated with an excess of caution, they respond with an excess of sensitivity. It could be that my mind was so caught up in an opinion I need to finish drafting for the judge, but I wasn't making my typically excessive effort to be sensitive to my kids' feelings today. In fact, I sometimes forgot they were kids and spoke to them like I would to my wife. The result, I'm surprised to say, was that they weren't overly sensitive to the things that I said and they responded more, dare I say, maturely.

Child Conspirators

There are days when the kids seem to conspire against me. I picture them tapping Morse Code through the wall between their room at night, planning to spend the next day driving me crazy by doing everything I've repeatedly asked them not to do. Our son conspired to wiggle around in his seat during dinner and spill food on the floor. Our little girl conspired to wrestle with our son whenever we were trying to get his attention. Not wanting to be left out, our baby girl conspired to swat at everything that came near her, including toys, food, and faces. Then again, I'm sure they feel the same way about me sometimes, that I must have decided the night before to be bossy and impatient the next day. Whatever happened earlier in the evening, we were able to put it behind us by wrestling before bed.

Different But Consistent

It's no wonder my little girl is already learning to count to ten--she's in timeout half the time I'm home. My wife and I used to get really frustrated that she would often say "okay" when we asked her to stop doing something then immediately try to do it again. Now we often we think it's funny because she goes so peacefully to timeouts. Repeating something to her has absolutely no effect on her, but she seems to get it when we sit her in timeout and count to ten. So, we keep doing it--no drama. Our son, on the other hand, learns nothing from timeouts but gets it when we talk about it (as long as its brief). How are we supported to be consistent with two kids who are polar opposites? I'm not sure, but I try to make sure that my daughter sees when I talk to my son and that my son sees when I put my daughter in timeout. If they ask, I hope they'll understand the only possible explanation I could give--you two learn differently.

Pushing the Issue

My wife and I found some word-recognition beginning reader books for our son whose learning to read. The only problem is that he's so smart he memorizes the books almost word for word after only a couple of times through. When I came home from work, he began "reading" one of the books to me. At first I was amazed. Then I noticed that he read two sentences where the page only had one. I've written about this before. The problem is that I still don't know how to handle it. He said he wanted to read the books to me and seemed excited. When I pointed out to him the difference between memorizing and reading, he seemed deflated. In fact, any kind of critique disheartened him, despite also complimenting him on what a great job he does when he reads the words. He really does. I didn't want him to feel so discouraged that he'd never want to read again, so I encouraged him and found ways to point out the good things he did throughout the rest of the night. I even apologized when he went to bed for being pushy when he read to me.  I want to help him see that he can't cut corners or deceive in order to impress people, but that he should really put in the work and feel a sense of confidence and accomplishment. At the same time, I don't want to push so hard that I end up pushing him toward the other end of the spectrum. I realize that is a tall order and pretty deep for an almost four-year old. At the end of the day, although it hurt his feelings at first, he seemed more willing to accept what I said when he saw that I was treating him with an increase of love afterwards.

By the way, our son hasn't been complaining about dinners as much. In fact, he put his dishes in the sink without our asking tonight. We've talked to him a little about it, but we haven't taken any real action. He must have found out about my blog post.

Our little girl is also better at not yelling. She still yells our names, favors, or questions, but when we ask her to use her little voice she stops yelling, though she keeps repeating it softly regardless of how many times we try to answer. But, she also says "thank you" for everything. I guess we're getting somewhere.

A Birthday to Remember

Today was my wife's birthday. She hit the big 3-0. It was a birthday to remember, not only for my wife, but also for my son. This is the first of my wife's birthdays where we have a child old enough to remember what I do to show my wife how important her birthday is to me. He is a keen observer. I sent my wife on a scavenger hunt through the house looking for her multi-part gift. Our son saw this and noticed how special my wife felt. We saw him speed off to the family room for some paper and crayons. Then he grabbed my law school hat and hid it in his bed. It was cute to watch him play the "hotter/colder" game with my wife until she found my hat. Then he gave it to her. He was so excited, and my wife loved it. Then he gave her the card he made. He traced his hands and wrote his full name on the pictures, spelled according to the sounds he hears, his first name on the bottom and his middle and last names inside the hands.

When They Know . . .

What do you do when your son gets over-excited while your playing with him and whips a piece of clothing at your head? Well, my typical response to what I consider an innocent mistake is a three-step process: (1) talk about it, (2) hope he feels bad and apologizes, and (3) quickly forgive and move on. But when I put my hand on his arm, he backed away and began to cry. He curled up to his mother and said to her, "I don't want daddy to talk to me right now." My first reaction was, "I'm a terrible father! My son is scared of me." But, my wife helped me realize that wasn't true. He knew that he made a big mistake and already felt horrible. What he really needed was to know that I still trust him and love him. That would motivate him better than a lecture. (Boy, did that take the wind out of my sails. My lectures are brilliant.) So, after he calmed down and apologized, I decided that skipping to the last step was sufficient--though I added a big hug in there too.

Heart to Heart

You can just tell when something is on your child's mind, so I decided to ask him about it:

     "What's Daddy's superhero power?"

     "He saves people, just like me."

     "What's Mommy's superhero power?"

     "She's a kisser."

     "What's R's superhero power?"

     "She shares."

     "What's K's superhero power?"

     "She chews on things."

     "What's Walker's (the turtle) superhero power?"

     "He digs."

And people think that children are caught up in little things. Having a family of superheros is pretty big to me.

Battling Expectations

We've tried to take advantage of our short time here by trying to go on a "family adventure" each week, mostly to museums. There is so much to see, and my wife and I always look forward to seeing all we can. As this is a family adventure, and our family consists of a four-year old, a two-year old, and a baby, we've never expected to see much. It's quite a task to get there, however, and the question continues to run through my mind: is all this worth it to see only half an exhibit at a museum? While I was there aching to see more, I thought "no way!" But the purpose of the family adventures isn't really to learn anything from the museums, as odd as that may sound. The purpose is really to share fun experiences together like taking my wife's cookies to the security officers who let us park at the court, getting ice cream on the mall, picnic lunches, and pointing out different monuments we see on the way. In fact, sometimes the museum is the least enjoyable part--often because the kids scatter in different directions, the parents don't get to really see anything, and the parents and kids disagree on how long to stay or when and where to have snack. I doubt they'll remember the museums anyway. But, I'm sure they'll remember the overall experience or at least the effort we put into it for them.

Big Girl, Big Slime

Our baby girl decided she is done with baby food. She will not touch it, and now I will not touch her--at least while she is eating. The reason is simple, although she won't eat baby mush anymore, she turns the normal food we give her (bananas, sweet potatoes, pancakes, bread, eggs, etc.) into mush anyway. It's not just that. With the baby food, she used to let us feed her with a spoon. Now she insists on using her hands and gets the mush all over her. She is covered in slime by the end of dinner, and we can only hope that some of it got into her mouth. I'm guessing it does because she seems happy after dinner. One thing I can guarantee about the slime, however, is that she gets it all over the parent assigned to clean her up after dinner, because he does not have to clean up kids throughout the day--the corporate dad.

The Baby Is Gone

Why is it that as my son learns, matures, and becomes more self-sufficient I worry more about him? There is no reason to think he is unhappy or getting into trouble--he's a very mature three-year old. Perhaps his maturity is the reason. For the past three years he's been dependent upon us for so much. The benefit to that was immediate feedback. In other words, I knew everything he needed or thought because he immediately communicated it through crying, laughing, excitement, anger, etc. Today the realization hit me that he is no longer a baby. Now he has more self-control. His natural thoughtfulness has also developed to the point that he internalizes a lot of what he feels now. It's good for him to learn to shoulder his challenges himself to some degree. But, I think I miss how much he needed me to help him do it before. I no longer know everything he is thinking or feeling. I just ask and listen and hope that he feels comfortable telling me everything he needs to. I didn't think these kinds of worries would hit me as my son gets ready to turn four. I thought this was something that started in the teenage years.

Game Time!

Preparation for games, meets, and events has always been mostly mental for me. Of course, not every day was game day, so we prepared with regular practices. When it came time to perform, I had to be alone in order to "get in the zone," or, put another way, to anticipate what I would face and work through solutions in my mind. When it comes to being a dad, every day is game day. There is no time for regular anxiety-free practices. Luckily, I still have time to get in the zone while on the train home. If I have to work on the train, I try to take a minute as I walk home from the bus. As the kids grow older and challenge me more and more, this time to refocus becomes more and more essential. When I come home mentally unprepared, I'm certain to quickly lose patience. When I prepare, I can handle days like today. My son was feeling tired and grumpy as side effects of a fun camp out last weekend, so was less willing to share, more prone to complain, and more anxious to roughhouse. My little girl was learning the delay game, wanting to say "good night" to the moon, wanting to sing "Twinkle Little Star," wanting to go back out and kiss her brother, wanting to show me her band-aids, etc. My baby girl was extra fussy due to daylight savings time, and she refused to eat her baby cereal because she wants to eat real food like everyone else. Finally, my wife and I put together our November budget tonight (we're a little behind), which will always be somewhat depressing until we actually have money.

Karma of Nonsense

Our little girl was getting restless and loud at church. By then my wife and I has already tried everything we could think of. Perhaps desperation is the key to ingenuity because for some unknown reason I decided to take a closed marker and gently hold it to her nose, then to my nose, then to her cheek, then to my cheek, etc. She was fascinated, took the marker from me, and repeated what I had just done. Miraculously, this was enough to get us calmly through church. Then, after dinner my wife offered her some ice cream. As my wife was getting our little girl's ice cream ready our little girl said, "Oz cweam, Daddy?" meaning, "Can we make Daddy some ice cream too?" A minute later, she came out of the kitchen carrying two ice cream cones, and with a big smile on her face, she handed me one of them. As I licked the ice cream, she looked up at me with her big brown eyes and asked, "Nummy Daddy?" I'm not sure why she took such good care of me tonight. It may have been coming up with that nonsense game at church or other similar nonsense throughout the rest of the day.

By the way, our son had excellent manners at dinner tonight. Maybe it was something similar to what happened with my little girl. I did make him some cardboard armor after all, including a shield and a sword. Then again, I think this was the other meal my wife makes that he likes.

"Let Me Do What I Can Do!"

We went to pick our son up from the campsite where he was camping with our relatives. We let him do things like that without us because he has really proven himself trustworthy. Perhaps because he was pretty worn out or perhaps because he had enjoyed freedom from his parents for two days, he appeared to be getting pretty demanding. He wanted to play with the flashlight that our nephew was using to see the burgers he was grilling over the embers. I suggested he wait until our nephew was finished with it, but he kept on asking. Again, I told him he should wait until my nephew was finished. He responded, "Let me do what I can do!" At first, I took that to mean, "Let me do whatever I want," as if it were beneath him to submit to our parenting after two days of freedom. Although I can't let him do what he wants all the time, I should probably reduce my micromanaging tendencies a little bit and give him room to do what he can do sometimes. In other words, I should let him try out his own ideas more often, instead of insisting on adherence to my ideas.

He not only deserves more space to do things on his own, he needs that space to develop his own understanding of good ideas and bad ideas, which then leads to greater self-discipline. For example, he also refused to follow a cardinal rule of camping--wear layers. No matter how much his aunt insisted and we asked, he would not do it. So, instead of harping on him, we gave him space to try it his way and see what would happen. He realized quickly, of course, that he was freezing cold as the afternoon progressed into evening. When he told us he was cold and wanted us to solve his problem, we responded that it was his choice to go without a coat and that we are interested in his ideas on how to get warm again. He would quickly say he needed his gloves or a blanket, and he went and got them. He solved his own problems with some space to do what he can do, even if he didn't solve it the way I would have solved it.

Space to do what he can do, should also help him develop greater self-confidence. Micromanaging and criticizing have made him a bit insecure about certain things. In fact, he refuses to try certain things because he's been criticized about it, like driving his cousin's electric toy jeep. He wouldn't even help me drive the real four wheeler we were riding tonight when I invited him to. Another sign that I am too impatient, micromanaging, and critical. It is never my intention to make him insecure. To the contrary, I want him to be confident about himself and confident to try new things. At the end of the night, I asked my wife to remind me when I need to be more patient, stop criticizing, and give him space to do what he can do.

Protection and Persuasion

When I came home from work and opened the door, my daughter excitedly ran up to me yelling, "Daddy!" Trailing behind her was a little boy my wife was watching. He too ran up and excitedly yelled. But before he could reach me, my daughter quickly turned around to face him, spread her arms out to prevent him from reaching me, and yelled, "No! My Daddy!" I love it when my little girl gets protective of her daddy.

Soon thereafter, I began feeding our baby girl her dinner. She likes to close her mouth right as I'm about to put the spoon in it. I'm sure she's hungry, so she must just like to tease me. To persuade her to open her mouth, I had to speak jibberish or make up funny new words to tunes like "Jingle Bells." After several minutes of this, my wife commented that she thought the picture of a lawyer convincing his daughter with baby talk was a funny sight. I wouldn't say "funny." I would say it was just "creative lawyering."

Travel Gifts

Corporate dads have to travel sometimes for work, even in a first year clerkship. We didn't always mind when my dad traveled because he usually came back with gifts from that place. Not only was I excited to get presents, but I enjoyed feeling a part of his work life even when it temporarily took place in another state. NYC is full of souvenir shops, which are usually full of overpriced and useless gifts, at least as far as children as young as mine are concerned. Whether it was a crystal sculpture of the Empire State Building or a stuffed NYC cab or NYPD car, the result would be the same--played with once, then forgotten. I guess the sculpture would probably be broken rather than lost and present a greater risk of injury than the stuffed cars, but my point is that travel gifts can easily become junk. While visiting a bookstore in Brooklyn last night, I found a little board book called, "Good Night New York," featuring a little boy and a little girl who greet various features of NYC, Brooklyn, etc. throughout the day and wish the city a good night at the end. I thought reading it to the kids as a bedtime story when I got home would not only carry on the fun tradition of travel gifts and make my family a part of my travels, it would also (hopefully) last longer and be more meaningful. My impression from reading the book to them tonight was that they loved seeing and learning about where I had been the past four days.

Incomplete Fun

One can visit the most amazing places and experience the most amazing things, but imagine that person had to leave some taste buds behind or wear one earplug or cover one eye. There would be a sense of incompleteness to the experience. (Notice I didn't say anything about a limited sense of smell. In NYC that would be a good thing.) Although my experience in NYC was fun, on Wednesday I had a similar sense of incompleteness without my family there to experience the fun with me. Since being married and having kids, everything is more fun when we can experience it together. My kids would be stunned to see all the tall buildings or the Brooklyn Bridge. My wife would have loved having dinner at a great restaurant like Theresa's. I can't wait until I can take them back with me.

Fun in NYC

It's amazing how fun was redefined once I had a family. My trip to NYC provides a perfect example of the differences. With free time on Tuesday, I wanted to go back into the city to have some fun. As a single college student, fun in NYC consisted of exploring the historical landmarks, libraries, museums, parks, stores, and restaurants. Fun meant being free to do my own thing.  Now that I have a family, the activity I found to be the most fun was shopping for birthday gifts at the toy stores, bookstores, and lotion stores.

M&Ms Never Tasted So Good

As I sit in my hotel in NYC tonight, I can't stop thinking about my kids. It is clear to me that people in my profession in this city think that having three kids at this stage in my life is just plain crazy. Although my wife and I have the same thought sometimes, it doesn't last long. We love the life we chosen to live and couldn't imagine it without the kids. I've been asked, "How did you do go through law school with a family?" I've thought to respond, "How did you go through law school without one?" Confidence is not something you come by easily in law school or a law career, nor is reality. But I find them in abundance at home, where my wife and kids shower me with love and support. It helps me to focus, to plan, and to keep my feet on the ground.

For example, while the craziness of this trip was going on, I kept thinking about something my son did for me before I left. He counted out four Halloween treats and gave them to me. As if that weren't noble enough for a three-year old, he explained that I should eat one for each day of the trip. Then, when they were all gone, I would come home again. Today, I ate the M&Ms. They never tasted so good.