Avoiding Baby Faces

Second night in a row that had to get up in the middle of the night because one of our children started screaming. Congestion one night. Too hot the next night. Also the second morning in a row getting up before 5:30 am to feed our baby.* I'm sure mothers reading this, especially those we know with multiples, have no sympathy for me. But they should. I've heard mothers have a hormone that allows their bodies to cope with lack of sleep. There is no such hormone for men. Either way, my day began feeding our baby before the crack of dawn. Normally, she lets me set her down in the bouncy seat so that I can make her bottle. I can't do it with one hand. I don't have that hormone either. Every time I tried, she cried. It was so frustrating that I couldn't look her in her cute little face, because it would ruin my anger. That set the tone for the morning.

Getting frustrated with my baby girl made me frustrated at myself. Then, on the way to catch the bus, I ran across the busy street between me and the bus stop when there was a large and safe gap in the traffic. But the bus driver didn't think it was safe, and he proceeded to give me an embarrassing lecture on safety at no extra cost. Work went well, and gradually the frustration and embarrassment of the morning began to subside. By the time I came home, I was ready to look my kids in the face again and let them cheer me up. It was touch-and-go for a little while during the chaos of dinner. Then, my wife and I finished the night looking through the 6-month old pictures of the same baby girl I was mad at this morning. I was right, her little face dissipated any remaining grumpiness.

*I should mention that my wife always gets up in the middle of the night with the kids and has forbidden me to get up before 5:30 am, but I have been doing it for two reasons: (1) I wanted to help because she had a busy week, and (2) it's a natural reaction to hearing one of our kids cry (or scream) at night. Issue 1 is now resolved. I don't want to help anymore! Issue 2 is much trickier. On the one hand, my concern for my kids is becoming more tempered at night now that they are older. On the other hand, I can't shake the fear that one crying child will quickly lead to three crying children and a long long night, and I don't want to give up the rare moments when my kids let me comfort them. They're so tired, they may not even know it's me. But I'm okay tricking my kids into needing me sometimes.