Preschool and Competitive Parenting

I'm hesitant to publish this post lest anyone think we are stuck up parents. But, our son came home from preschool frustrated that his teacher is not teaching him letters, numbers, etc. or using worksheets. These are things we frequently do at home, things that he loves. We probably left him with the impression that that is what he would be doing at school. We spent much of our night talking about what to do. Should we take him out? Should we try to put him in the older age group?

Have you ever heard of competitive parenting? It started for me when our eldest was just a baby and we began teaching him the alphabet during bath time. The first book I read to him was Paradise Lost. I wanted more than the best for him; I wanted him to be the best--at everything. The alarming nature of this competitive spirit did not fully dawn on me until my son had a break away in his first three-year old soccer game and missed the goal. I actually felt disappointed in him. I was shocked at myself. What's the big deal? I scared myself with the thought that I would be "that parent" who pushed their kids so hard at everything that they ended up disliking it. I quickly backed off and just let my son have fun. By the second season he lost interest in scoring and became passionate about being goalie. We let him experiment, and he was great at it. Several times he'd save a goal then run off the field yelling, "Daddy, I blocked the goal!" He'd even ask me to practice with him at home. I'm scared to think what would have happened if I would have continued in competitive parenting.

Ultimately, our conversation about preschool ended the same way. Although it is not Harvard (though paying tuition makes it file like it should be), there are some important things preschool can teach him as long as his parents don't get in the way. He needs to develop interpersonal skills, and, at the very least, he needs to learn to finish what he's started and to grow where he's planted. Even though we cringe at the thought of paying tuition for this, we decided to focus on helping him take advantage of the education this preschool has to offer and to supplement the rest at home. I think he will come home one of these days with the same excitement he had when he discovered for himself the joy of playing goalie.