Why We Sneak In Their Rooms to Check On Them When They're Sleeping

Perhaps I'm the only one who's thought of this. I tend to think pretty abstractly sometimes. Tonight I expressed some frustration with the girls when I put them to bed. They absolutely fight laying down in their beds. I do not know exactly when, but tonight it really bothered me, and I made it crystal clear to them. They eventually laid down to bed, and I left to clean-up a little. But I felt compelled to go back in after a while and check on the girls, half hoping that they were awake still so that I could tuck them in more nicely. But they were sleeping sweetly. I made sure their blankets were on, kissed their little hands and cheeks, and went toward the door to leave. I must have tried to leave two or three times, but I couldn't. I had to stay there for another few seconds to take a last look at them, then another last look, then another. So why do we do it? Given the circumstances of the night, I'd say guilt. It feels better to go back in and make sure they are not traumatized by our grumpiness. And there is that secret hope that they can feel how sorry we are and how much we love them just by our standing there. But I think the reason underlying all the others is that we need to feel the innocence that emanates from them. There is just a purity about them that we long to feel. It's such a comforting feeling that I've been, and was, tempted to just lay on the floor for a while and just soak that feeling in. And though it's true that children are incredibly angelic while they are sleeping, and often less so when awake, I still love being with them because of their innocence and purity. I can just imagine, however, what they might think if they woke up and caught us staring at them. It might give them nightmares. I guess I'd have to quickly pretend that I was in the middle of doing something else. But, being unwilling to stop doing it, I'll just assume they know why we're there and that it helps them feel our love for them.