Tapping Into a Deeper Well

It really takes a lot of energy to be enthusiastic. How exciting is a half-executed somersault or a scribble drawing? I mean, it's exciting to see your kids progress, but you really have to muster up some extra energy to convey the kind of excitement they're hoping to see. There have been times when the kids are continually yelling, "Watch this! Watch this!" that I worry I'm going to run out of steam. Actually, I think I was getting to that point as this year was drawing to a close at the court, and as we prepared for the move. But two things recharged my battery: First, my parents came to visit. They were able to meet the judge and see where I work. They expressed a lot of pride in my efforts. Not only that, the kids became attached to them so quickly. This meant that my wife and I were actually able to step back from the heat of the parenting battle and watch. Of course, we could not watch our kids without admiring them and loving them more. As "spectators," we could more clearly see what we sometimes miss, including their senses of humor, their tenderness, their friendships with each other, their goofiness, their intelligence, and their kindness. My wife and I couldn't sit back for long. Our love and appreciation for them welled up inside so quickly that it propelled us right back into the fray to wrestle and play with our kids. Second, we were able to take the kids swimming. I used to swim. It is a love of mine. I've always loved swimming with the kids, especially now that they are becoming little fishes themselves. But when they said, "Watch this!" something was different--my son was swimming on his own and my daughter was being very brave in the water. This may seem like another miniature accomplishment that doesn't command a lot of natural excitement, but it did. As a father and a lover of sharing my hobbies with my kids, I couldn't control the thrill and pride I felt as their father. Although I get tired, I know that I won't run out of steam. I love them too much. Each time I get to step back and admire or each time I get to see them learn and grow or develop in some way, a flash flood of energy comes rushing back, and I am able to convey my sincere excitement and appreciation. It makes me grateful to be a dad. What my physical and emotional capacity can't provide sometimes, the deeper well of fatherly love kicks in to supply what I lack.