Super Kids

We dug out our son's winter pajamas to find his Superman, Batman, and Spider Man pajamas. We put them on the kids after church with the capes we got them at Six Flags yesterday. I loved watching them run around to make their capes fly. They also played super hero games together. My favorite part, however, was the realization that what they were wearing really reflects how I feel about them. They are super kids. They take good care of each other and good care of their parents. They are loving and polite and desire to do good. They are also incredibly creative and tons of fun. In addition, they are developing too many talents to list on this post. Looking at them in those super suits just made me think, "Yep, they really are super heroes."

Anniversary Day 2

"Wouldn't our kids love this?" This was the comment we made throughout our day at Six Flags. Our favorite things about our day reminded us of the kids, including how frightened my wife was of the Superman, how cool it was to take pictures with super heroes and Loony Toons, the prizes for games, the cowboys slinging guns, the bumper cars, and even some of the rides. I loved the nostalgia of it all. We both realized we hadn't gone to an amusement park like this for years. We rode almost everything once, and realized we weren't up for some of these rides any longer, especially if they were the rickety old roller coasters with wood frames that knock you around like a rag doll. We loved those when we were kids. But we're older now and get headaches with the "jerky" rides. We also decided to ride the log ride and got soaked. We were surprised how quickly we got through everything we wanted to. We have so much time on our hands without kids. It was a bit strange. Interestingly, we did not take the extra time to ride more rides. The thing we wanted to do the most was find prizes and souvenirs for the kids. We missed them a lot and loved picking them up and spending time with them. In addition to the prizes we won, we got them super hero capes. We couldn't help it. At first we joked that we couldn't stop talking about the kids, but we really didn't want to. They are our greatest joy and an endless source of wonderful conversation. Either way, we needed this day off from the stresses of getting ready for the move, not only to unwind, but more importantly to strengthen our friendship.

*Of course, none of it would have been possible without my sister-in-law watching the kids. After picking them up we went out to eat before going home to bed.

Anniversary Day 1

Since we are moving on our real anniversary, we celebrated Friday night and today. Last night we saw the last Harry Potter and stayed at a hotel. Next to us in the movie theater was a little boy about the same age as our son. As may be expected, we can't get our children out of our minds. This little boy made things worse. We were shocked that a mother would bring such a young child to that movie. Then we began thinking about how passive parenting is a growing trend and how easily negative influences could creep into our kids' lives. We were able to enjoy the movie, however; as well as the feeling that for the next 24 hours, we did not have to be responsible for any children. In fact, we were a little bit like children ourselves. We even jumped on the hotel bed just because we could. It was strange how quiet and peaceful everything was.

All Too Ready

We just finished packing for the night--almost midnight. We had a break in the action today, because I had no commute today. I worked from home (come to find out, this is harder on my wife, because the kids are too excited to take good naps or quiet time). So, when I punched out I played with the kids. I think with all of this packing going on they and I have a lot of pent up energy that we needed to take out on each other with some wrestling, tickling, and sword fighting. They were so excited, and I realized they hadn't had much fun Daddy time since we started packing in earnest. They were all too ready. So was I. I think all of us are also all too ready to settle in our new home, so that we can get back to real Daddy time.

Our Little Guardian

Well, the toddler at the center of many of my posts this year discussing her independence, her spunk, and her lungs, is the center of another post for another reason. She has become our little guardian. Lately, I frequently hear her making sure everyone gets a turn or that nobody gets left out. That includes books, treats, games, movies, a piece of cheese at dinner, etc. She also always runs to Mommy's aid when I wrestle with her. Though she has lost none of her other talents, she is definitely developing a strong sense of nurturing, like a little mommy. Maybe it has something to do with her growing collection of baby dolls. She did this a lot for me when I was Mr. Mom. She also did it several times today. For example, in addition to offering me a piece of her cheese (because other at the table got some), she also wanted to make sure I got a manner bean in the manner jar for thanking Mommy for a wonderful dinner. I told her the jar was just for the kids. She replied by telling me that the manner jar was for a list of names, including people who are not members of our family. As I was reading to my girls tonight, I switched off a little between her books and our baby girl's books. At one point I was about to read a second book of hers in a row, but she stopped me and reminded me it was her little sister's turn. I've always thought of her as my little angel since I stayed with her in the hospital while she had RSV as a baby and watched her always smiling at everyone despite her discomfort. It helped me keep perspective while I was stressing about law school. Now she's grown into our little guardian angel.

Screamers

I'm not sure if all girls are this way, but mine are. I understand that emotions are big things, probably too big for their little bodies to handle. I just wish their first response to any emotional impulse wasn't screaming. Our baby girl wanted me to open some markers so that she could draw on anything and undoubtedly put it in her mouth. I declined, and she screamed. Our little girl laid the blanket she took from the baby out on her bed. Our son was sat down on one of the corners, and she screamed. At least with her I could remove her from the situation, calm her down, and talk to her. There were other instances as well, usually there are several each day. I love them to pieces, but I can't wait until they grow into their emotions.

The Shock of Calm

Today was a stressful day. So, I was surprised when I found myself following my wife's advise during the moments of drama in our home this evening. First, we excused our son from dinner before our daughters because he finished first. Naturally, he hung out near the table, playing, and distracting his sister, who was only too happy to stop eating and play too. On no less than four occasions, I asked him or told him to move away from his sister and the table while she was eating so as not to distract her. Being a smart boy, and the son of a lawyer, our four-year old tried to excuse himself by trying to distinguish his conduct from the conduct he was sure I meant to prohibit. Surely balancing on the edge of the couch by the dinner table is not the same as playing near the table. Well, whatever distracts his sister is close enough for me. Exasperated, I took a deep breath, excused myself from the table, had him look me in the eyes, and told him very calmly that no matter what he is doing, if it near the table distracting his sister, it is not the right thing to do (although now I wonder whether I said it that clearly). He got it. Second, later on there was an altercation resulting in our daughter crying. She told us that our son hit her. Knowing from his face that he did, I was tempted to put him in time-out right then and there. Instead, I asked him to tell his side of the story and asked him questions about his behavior and what his behavior should have been. If my calm response the first time was a surprise, a calm response the second time was even more so, even to me--his excuses do get old quickly. So, when I told him to sit in time-out, he complied without resistance. I guess being calm and asking the kids questions about their behavior shocked them into compliance. I think I'll try it again tomorrow. I certainly feel less guilty than when I raise my voice and issue commands. I think for my son especially, since he is older and quickly advancing, it makes him feel like we recognize his intelligence.

Double Melt-Down

We should have known that after taking the kids to the beach and returning late that night would take it's toll on our kids, one of whom was sun-burned. It happened during church. The older kids were tired and grumpy and a fight ensued. I took our crying daughter out into the foyer until she calmed down. As we walked back in, our son was crying and my wife was trying to carry the baby and nudge our son out to the foyer. So, we all went out of the chapel and into an empty classroom where the kids calmed down, and my wife and I burst into laughter--that is what we do when we are powerless to do anything else. Several people commented between classes, checking if everything was all right or teasing us a little. At some point I knew we would be that family, you know, the one with the noisy kids at church. Today was our day.

Last Time At Assateague Island

Burning sand greeted our feet and humid heat greeted the rest of our bodies when we returned to Assateague Island for a somewhat sentimental farewell before our upcoming move. It felt like a combination of being fried, baked, broiled, and steamed all at once. As with the activities of last night, the adults were the only ones complaining (except my little girl about burning feet). We caked sunscreen on them and got down to the water as soon as possible. The water was only 65 degrees. The heat got so bad that by the time we were eating lunch, we were also considering returning home. I for one was anxious to end this miserable existence and return to our air-conditioned home. But sweet relief wafted in shortly after lunch. The temperature dropped and a breeze blew. What looked like it would be the worst day ever spent at the beach--ever--turned out to be one of the funnest. Our daughters finally gathered enough courage to walk out to the water without being carried, and our son was more or less body surfing the small waves breaking onto the shore. He's never jumped into the water like that in the previous two visits to the ocean. They are growing up too quickly, and despite my being a stick in the mud at first, we did end out time at the island on a high note.

The Sun Was In My Eyes--Camping

Even the weather can affect fatherhood, hence the title of the post. We went camping this weekend. It was planned in advance, but without advance notice that this would be the hottest, most humid week of the entire summer. Though my wife had everything ready when I came home from work, and we made it to the campsite without any problems, we were hot and sweating no matter what we did. This resulted in much less patience, and even less capacity to reason or filter our words when challenges arose like what to do with the kids in the meantime. Actually, we did have some short tempers both when loading the car, then when unloading. We looked back on it later and realized that we did not know why we'd been so short with each other. "It must have been the heat," we concluded. We were blessed with an overcast and breezy evening which seemed to say, "I'll lighten up on you for the kids's sake." Although there was some measure of chaos getting everyone rinsed off (from sweat) and into bed, we did have a fun evening, especially going to sleep in an air-conditioned camper instead of a tent.

The Small Things

Today seemed full of small things that remind me how much fun it is to be a father:

1. My son peering into my mouth while the dentist cleans my teeth. He was even allowed to use the air sucker to clean out the rinsing water. He loved every second of it, and I loved watching the look of fascination in his face. The hygienist commented, "You must really trust him. That could go up your nose." I couldn't say anything, because her hands were in my mouth, but I thought, "He's earned it." I told him so later.

2. Playing in the mini pool in the backyard with all three of my kids. No matter how reluctant I am to do it, I always feel happy and energetic afterwards. I also feel closer to my kids. My wife even commented, "Wow, you're in a really good mood."

3. Wrestling with the kids before bed. I am not reluctant to do this, but it still has the same result. We are all happier and feel closer. Interestingly, the dental hygienist commented that wrestling with Dad has been shown to stimulate the intellectual development of children. No wonder they're so smart.

4. Reading to them in bed. I especially love my son's questions, my daughter's requests for one last book right after I read the last one last book she requested, and my baby girl backing into my lap to start reading and later sitting right back down on my lap when I stand her up to get everyone ready for bed as if to say, "Hey, I'm not done yet."

It truly is fun to be a father.

Heavy-Weight Worries

I am not sure why I feel more relief staring into space and thinking about the logistics of the upcoming move than I do taking my anxieties out on playing with the kids. But that is what I did. In addition, I took a phone call regarding our move shortly after starting to read books with my son at bedtime. My son waited patiently with his head on my lap. Then it became too much for him and he began asking me to get off the phone. I had a friend once tell me that she was an escapist reader--the more there was to do, the more she read instead. I think I am an escapist organizer--the more there is to do, the more I organize and plan things. That may not sound so bad, except that we are to the point where most things we have to do right now are done and I am just repeating those efforts. In other words, I escape through ineffective labor. But it's the fact that I'm laboring that makes me feel better. It's a little sick, I know. But know that I've pinpointed the problem, I can get back to playing with the kids next time.

Lost Puppy

After such a great weekend with the kids and missing them while at work yesterday, I was excited to be able to stay home again today while the family went back and forth to doctor appointments. The morning was a blast, playing together. As the afternoon came on, however, I began to feel really tired and anxious to get back to work. I started wandering around the house looking for things to do instead of playing with the kids, not because I didn't want to play with them, but because I was anxious to accomplish some work. I'm sure my wife didn't mind the extra help, but it was probably a little funny to watch her husband wandering around like a lost puppy.

Back to Real Life

The transition back to real life has been tough. We didn't want to leave this morning, and my son really had a hard time with it, though I couldn't tell if he really didn't want me to go or really just wanted to go to McDonald's right away. I had promised that if we had a good week while Mommy was gone, we could go to McDonald's for family night. Either way, he wouldn't let go of me and he screamed. But coming home I felt greater patience than I usually would after work. I hope that quality sticks. Ironically, my wife was feeling like she'd been hit with a Mack truck (which is usually how I feel when I'm through with a work day). The restaurant was just what the doctor ordered. Two tired parents, no dishes.